A barista in Portland had an all too common encounter.
"This lady came in and ordered a '20 oz. espresso.' I figured she didn't really understand exactly what she was ordering and suggested a latte or a mocha, but she kept insisting that she wanted that espresso. I then had to fully explain that espresso is essentially just a one ounce shot, but tried to stay helpful, 'I could put it in a 20 ounce cup for you though if you'd like.'
She ended up settling on a regular cup of drip coffee."
Monday, August 8, 2011
Friday, May 28, 2010
Cold as fire, hot as ice
Hey, sometimes it's embarrassing to be an adult ordering a chocolate milk, I guess...
"Lady: Can I get a hot chocolate that isn't hot?
Me: You mean a chocolate milk?
Lady: No, like you do with your ice coffees, but with chocolate.
Me: We have a mocha, which we can do over ice.
Lady: No, I don't want any coffee. I just want a cold hot chocolate.
Me: Do you want just chocolate and milk?
Lady (getting pissed): Forget it. Just give me the hot chocolate.
Me (trying to be nice): I'm sure we have what you want. If you can just explain what it is.
Lady: I want a cold hot chocolate.
Me (grabbing an ice cup): Ok, I'm just going to write 'cold hot chocolate' on this cup and we'll see what he does.
I handed the cup to the guy on bar, she paid and picked up her drink. He made a chocolate milk. She seemed happy."
"Lady: Can I get a hot chocolate that isn't hot?
Me: You mean a chocolate milk?
Lady: No, like you do with your ice coffees, but with chocolate.
Me: We have a mocha, which we can do over ice.
Lady: No, I don't want any coffee. I just want a cold hot chocolate.
Me: Do you want just chocolate and milk?
Lady (getting pissed): Forget it. Just give me the hot chocolate.
Me (trying to be nice): I'm sure we have what you want. If you can just explain what it is.
Lady: I want a cold hot chocolate.
Me (grabbing an ice cup): Ok, I'm just going to write 'cold hot chocolate' on this cup and we'll see what he does.
I handed the cup to the guy on bar, she paid and picked up her drink. He made a chocolate milk. She seemed happy."
Thursday, May 27, 2010
Bust a cap
Oh cappuccinos. Something about them just seems to demand argument.
"A man came in and ordered an 8 ounce cappuccino. I started to explain to him that our small is actually 12 ounces, but before I could offer him any alternatives he interrupted me, yelling
'That is unacceptable! At that point it's just a latte!'
So anyway I told him I could only fill the cup up a little over halfway and he agreed. And then of course after I made his drink and called it out several times he let it just sit a good five minutes while I just watched all my pretty foam flatten out. Strangely enough, he was ok with that."
A barista in Wisconsin dealt with the all too common opposite side of that:
"Customer: Yeah I'd like a cappuccino with no foam.
My Shift: A cappuccino...with NO foam?
Customer: Yeah. I hate foam.
My Shift: Um, sir, our cappuccinos are mostly foam. Would you like a latte, that's mostly milk?
Customer: Who puts foam in a cappuccino?"
"A man came in and ordered an 8 ounce cappuccino. I started to explain to him that our small is actually 12 ounces, but before I could offer him any alternatives he interrupted me, yelling
'That is unacceptable! At that point it's just a latte!'
So anyway I told him I could only fill the cup up a little over halfway and he agreed. And then of course after I made his drink and called it out several times he let it just sit a good five minutes while I just watched all my pretty foam flatten out. Strangely enough, he was ok with that."
A barista in Wisconsin dealt with the all too common opposite side of that:
"Customer: Yeah I'd like a cappuccino with no foam.
My Shift: A cappuccino...with NO foam?
Customer: Yeah. I hate foam.
My Shift: Um, sir, our cappuccinos are mostly foam. Would you like a latte, that's mostly milk?
Customer: Who puts foam in a cappuccino?"
It's the little things
Because, you know, individual employees have total control over prices and promotions...
"*crotchety, generally disdainful older woman enters the store*
[Without making eye contact]: 'Do you have the specials on the tea lattes?'
Me [cheerfully]: 'I'm sorry. we actually phased that out recently! However, we do have specials on _____ [lists items that are comparable and thrifty]!'
Still not making eye contact, she whips around, starts out the door, and immediately before exiting:
'Thanks. You just ruined my Monday.'"
"*crotchety, generally disdainful older woman enters the store*
[Without making eye contact]: 'Do you have the specials on the tea lattes?'
Me [cheerfully]: 'I'm sorry. we actually phased that out recently! However, we do have specials on _____ [lists items that are comparable and thrifty]!'
Still not making eye contact, she whips around, starts out the door, and immediately before exiting:
'Thanks. You just ruined my Monday.'"
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Teen spirit, obviously
Attempts to be cute and clever didn't always go over so well in Iowa:
"Our menu boards included a cheesy description of the drink and one of them said something along the lines of 'tastes like nirvana' and someone actually asked us, 'What does nirvana taste like?'"
"Our menu boards included a cheesy description of the drink and one of them said something along the lines of 'tastes like nirvana' and someone actually asked us, 'What does nirvana taste like?'"
Round and round and round we go
Meanwhile in Seattle listening is an artform
"Customer: Do you guys have chai tea?
Me: We do. Did you want a chai tea latte or just the tea?
Her: A chai
Me: So the chai latte then?
Her: No. (looking at menu board) Ooo, what's a chai freddo?
Me: Those are our ice blended drinks
Her: That's what I want. That's hot, right?
Me: No, those are our *ICED* blended drinks. If you want something hot I can get you just a chai tea or the chai latte.
Her: Oh. I just want the chai tea. No foam.
Me: The tea is just tea bags and water, there's no foam
Her: But I want milk.
Me: I can leave you room to add cream if that's what you want, or I can make you a chai latte
Her: What's that?
Me: It's our chai tea, mixed with a chai extract and freshly steamed milk
Her: Yeah. That.
::sigh::"
"Customer: Do you guys have chai tea?
Me: We do. Did you want a chai tea latte or just the tea?
Her: A chai
Me: So the chai latte then?
Her: No. (looking at menu board) Ooo, what's a chai freddo?
Me: Those are our ice blended drinks
Her: That's what I want. That's hot, right?
Me: No, those are our *ICED* blended drinks. If you want something hot I can get you just a chai tea or the chai latte.
Her: Oh. I just want the chai tea. No foam.
Me: The tea is just tea bags and water, there's no foam
Her: But I want milk.
Me: I can leave you room to add cream if that's what you want, or I can make you a chai latte
Her: What's that?
Me: It's our chai tea, mixed with a chai extract and freshly steamed milk
Her: Yeah. That.
::sigh::"
I left my clothes in San Francisco
Sometimes there are just no words to describe the encounters. At least city life keeps things interesting, as a S.F. barista found out.
"Guy comes in to the shop in a bathrobe, no shoes and is obviously on some serious drugs. In the middle of the store, he begins feeling himself all over while staring at the ceiling.
Me: Hey, can I help you.
*Doesnt even move.
Me: Excuse me, you have to leave, now.
*Still stands there.
Me: Sir, if you don't leave I have to call the police.
*All of a sudden turns to me and stares at me, with the craziest blinking ever. I walk away and he is still staring in the same direction.
Me: Sir I am calling the police now. If you don't want to get arrested I think you should leave.
Him: Just one second.
*He proceeds to drop his robe in the middle of the store (thank god he had underwear on)
Me: *Getting infuriated. "You need to get the f*** out of this store right now. The police are on the way.
*He looks at me like a dear in head lights. Picks up his robes and sprints out of the store and down the street..."
"Guy comes in to the shop in a bathrobe, no shoes and is obviously on some serious drugs. In the middle of the store, he begins feeling himself all over while staring at the ceiling.
Me: Hey, can I help you.
*Doesnt even move.
Me: Excuse me, you have to leave, now.
*Still stands there.
Me: Sir, if you don't leave I have to call the police.
*All of a sudden turns to me and stares at me, with the craziest blinking ever. I walk away and he is still staring in the same direction.
Me: Sir I am calling the police now. If you don't want to get arrested I think you should leave.
Him: Just one second.
*He proceeds to drop his robe in the middle of the store (thank god he had underwear on)
Me: *Getting infuriated. "You need to get the f*** out of this store right now. The police are on the way.
*He looks at me like a dear in head lights. Picks up his robes and sprints out of the store and down the street..."
Now with more macchiato
This barista was reminded that sometimes the information you share just doesn't quite sink in...
"I gave this guy a latte (because that what he really wanted, even though he asked for a no foam macchiato) and when handed off it was called as a latte.
The guy goes 'Uhh, there is still macchiato in this right?' I informed him that a macchiato is actually a drink and not an ingredient and he was like, 'Oh.'
Then ten minutes later was like "Can I get more macchiato in this, I can only taste milk and coffee.'"
"I gave this guy a latte (because that what he really wanted, even though he asked for a no foam macchiato) and when handed off it was called as a latte.
The guy goes 'Uhh, there is still macchiato in this right?' I informed him that a macchiato is actually a drink and not an ingredient and he was like, 'Oh.'
Then ten minutes later was like "Can I get more macchiato in this, I can only taste milk and coffee.'"
Eco (not so) friendly
A barista in Colorado dealt with this treat:
"I had a lady driving an SUV through the drive thru who ordered a venti non-fat latte and when i handed her the drink she threw the cup sleeve at me and said in a very rude voice 'Sorry, I don't kill trees' and drove off. I just closed the windows and laughed."
"I had a lady driving an SUV through the drive thru who ordered a venti non-fat latte and when i handed her the drink she threw the cup sleeve at me and said in a very rude voice 'Sorry, I don't kill trees' and drove off. I just closed the windows and laughed."
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